God has blessed me more than I could have ever imagined and I know He and my Grandma Nancy are proud of the young woman I'm growing into and the steps I'm taking to get there!
Positive-Please read above.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Beautiful
Despite all the bad shit that has happened and the fact that I couldn't be with my family, I have had more support and love this past week than anyone could have ever imagined. My family is literally the best and no one can dispute that in the least. I have an extended family in my friends and sorority sisters that has turned up and turned it out for me this past week and I have an even bigger family that encompasses UCM that I couldn't begin to prosper without having. UCLan friends, who are becoming my family, have also turned it up this week and been so beyond amazing.
Monday, November 22, 2010
I Deal With
Death very differently than most.
It stems back to when my Uncle Larry passed away when I was younger and I didn't understand nor did I want to believe that he was gone forever so I put it in my head that my aunt and him simply wanted the family to get together and that when I saw him, he was going to stand up and say surprise and that we would all just be together and have a party.
Now, obviously I'm fully aware that that's not true, however, it has led to me dealing with death differently. I have a really hard time grasping that someone is gone until I actually see them at the showing/funeral. I literally have the damnedest time accepting that they are 100% never going to be on this Earth again until I see for myself that they are gone.
I'm not going to get to see my Grandma one final time. I don't get to talk to her face to face again. I don't get to give her one last anything.
I've been talking to her and praying all day and have constantly been crying and it obviously isn't really getting any better.
I am, however, realizing that when I get home, she won't be there to hug me and call me her baby. I won't get to have family Christmas with her this year. And I will never have her amazing food again.
I do know that she loved me more than any Grandma has ever loved a granddaughter and that she was so proud of me for doing absolutely everything that I do in life and I know that she knows that even though I can't be at her funeral because I'm in a different country, it makes not a single difference in how much I love her and how much I miss her.
There's a part of me that knows she's pissed because I'm going through this so far from home but I also know that God has comforted her in this new journey just as He is here for me now.
I will never forget my Grandma Nancy. She was a friend. How many 21-year-olds can say that their Grandma was truly a friend? I am fortunate to be able to say this and more than lucky to have had her in my life for 21 years.
She is an amazing woman and I know she is with my Great Grandma watching me and rooting for me every step of the way through my life.
Grandma,
I love you. I don't know why this had to happen while I was away and while I was gone the whole semester so we couldn't talk as much but I think it's partially to show how strong our bond is because I have loved you and thought of you just as often or more this semester than I do while I'm in MO. I'm going to live the rest of my life proving to you that you had an impact on my life and that impact was always showing me that hardwork and love are two things that can get you through life.
I'll always remember you and you have made a huge impact on my life.
This month here is for you because I know you'd want me to be here.
I love you.
Positive-Now, she'll always be with me.
It stems back to when my Uncle Larry passed away when I was younger and I didn't understand nor did I want to believe that he was gone forever so I put it in my head that my aunt and him simply wanted the family to get together and that when I saw him, he was going to stand up and say surprise and that we would all just be together and have a party.
Now, obviously I'm fully aware that that's not true, however, it has led to me dealing with death differently. I have a really hard time grasping that someone is gone until I actually see them at the showing/funeral. I literally have the damnedest time accepting that they are 100% never going to be on this Earth again until I see for myself that they are gone.
I'm not going to get to see my Grandma one final time. I don't get to talk to her face to face again. I don't get to give her one last anything.
I've been talking to her and praying all day and have constantly been crying and it obviously isn't really getting any better.
I am, however, realizing that when I get home, she won't be there to hug me and call me her baby. I won't get to have family Christmas with her this year. And I will never have her amazing food again.
I do know that she loved me more than any Grandma has ever loved a granddaughter and that she was so proud of me for doing absolutely everything that I do in life and I know that she knows that even though I can't be at her funeral because I'm in a different country, it makes not a single difference in how much I love her and how much I miss her.
There's a part of me that knows she's pissed because I'm going through this so far from home but I also know that God has comforted her in this new journey just as He is here for me now.
I will never forget my Grandma Nancy. She was a friend. How many 21-year-olds can say that their Grandma was truly a friend? I am fortunate to be able to say this and more than lucky to have had her in my life for 21 years.
She is an amazing woman and I know she is with my Great Grandma watching me and rooting for me every step of the way through my life.
Grandma,
I love you. I don't know why this had to happen while I was away and while I was gone the whole semester so we couldn't talk as much but I think it's partially to show how strong our bond is because I have loved you and thought of you just as often or more this semester than I do while I'm in MO. I'm going to live the rest of my life proving to you that you had an impact on my life and that impact was always showing me that hardwork and love are two things that can get you through life.
I'll always remember you and you have made a huge impact on my life.
This month here is for you because I know you'd want me to be here.
I love you.
Positive-Now, she'll always be with me.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
I Have
A renewed sense for fun and life for my last month in England!
After spending this last week away from all the negative people that are here in my life and having literally one of the best weeks I've had here, I have a n incredible feeling to make even more than the most out of the last month I have here.
I am the luckiest student studying abroad this semester.
No joke.
I am involved on campus.
I go out twice a week with two completely different societies which have provided me with the best English friend basis I could have asked for.
I have found a best friend here who I know I can turn to once I get home.
I have/am enjoying every minute of my time here.
This last month will only keep gettin' better!!
Positive-Um, read above :)
After spending this last week away from all the negative people that are here in my life and having literally one of the best weeks I've had here, I have a n incredible feeling to make even more than the most out of the last month I have here.
I am the luckiest student studying abroad this semester.
No joke.
I am involved on campus.
I go out twice a week with two completely different societies which have provided me with the best English friend basis I could have asked for.
I have found a best friend here who I know I can turn to once I get home.
I have/am enjoying every minute of my time here.
This last month will only keep gettin' better!!
Positive-Um, read above :)
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Maybe
Filling out a survey wasn't the best options when I'm fuming about the accommodation/international/tuiton fiasco but I think this issue needed to be outted and talked about :)
Here's my response about the services I have used.
Here's my response about the services I have used.
The international office, for me, has made this experience much harder. There was an issue with my refund on my accommodation payment and the finance department was helpful and moved quickly to get me to the appropriate people. The accommodation department did what they needed to but I feel as though their communication was greatly lacking. The international office, however, is the source of this problem and they did not give me all of my options nor did they communicate what was happening in a timely manner so this issue has been dragging on for over a month and is still continuing. Specifically, the problem stems back to Jackie Maudsley and whether or not she legitimately "did not know" because my home university did not tell her or not, I feel like it should have been and definitely could have been handled better, more professionally as well as efficiently.
And now about professors, tutors, lecturers, whatever you wanna call them! And, this was after positive feedback about my other two.
I have, however, experienced one lecturer that has made my class experience with him literal hell. Valerie Smolienko (WorldWise) is not supportive nor have I learned from him this semester. I fear going to class because he is disrespectful and argumentative with students in his class daily and not only does not make himself clear but contradicts himself regularly and has made my experience, with a class that I though I would greatly enjoy, miserable.
And, that's my rant for the day.
Positive-My Bible is super sweet. Thank you cousins!!
Dear UCLan.
Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice in studying here considering the tremendous amount of shit the international, accommodation and tuition offices are putting me through.
GET YOUR SHIT IN CHECK!
There's a system of how things should be done and how things are to roll and one of ya'll screwed up and then the rest followed suit so if you could do me a favor and correct all your bullshit, oh wait, you can't because now I have to redo things that I've already done the correctly the first time because ya'll can't do your job.
Fuck me.
I'll handle what your "professional" asses couldn't.
Don't worry.
The 21-year-old who's only lived here for 2.5 months has this on lock.
Geezzzzzzzzzzz.
GET YOUR SHIT IN CHECK!
There's a system of how things should be done and how things are to roll and one of ya'll screwed up and then the rest followed suit so if you could do me a favor and correct all your bullshit, oh wait, you can't because now I have to redo things that I've already done the correctly the first time because ya'll can't do your job.
Fuck me.
I'll handle what your "professional" asses couldn't.
Don't worry.
The 21-year-old who's only lived here for 2.5 months has this on lock.
Geezzzzzzzzzzz.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
It's been a minute
And, for that I apologize. I had my first assignment all semester due last week and I have another due this week. Mer. And, we took a trip to Chorley for Bonfire Night on Friday and we are leaving for Venice on Thursday morning so I have to be ready early because Wednesday is the national demonstration in London and I will be there protesting for UCLan in hopes that the government will listen!!
Now, as for what's been going on. I've been trying my best to incorporate God into my stay more. I have been praying and talking to God a lot more and it has definitely helped. No lie :)
I am getting more anxious by the day to return to IN and see all of my family and to get back to UCM and see my fam there! I miss everybody so so much but it's hard to believe my time here is almost done. It feels like I just got here 2 weeks ago and just crammed in a lot of trips between then and now, lol. I love it here and would love to come back again some day. So I know I will :)
I am staying involved on campus and offering myself up to more organizations for more things in this last month and a half of time here :) It makes me feel a lot more at home to continually meet new people and be doing things.
I have a trip to Venice this weekend which I am stoked for. And, Grandpa, I will be eating some pizza from there since you told me I have to try it :)
My group for one of my classes will be going to Scotland, on our own accord, to celebrate that our event for that class is done seeing as the tutor is a twat and shouldn't be allowed to speak to people let alone try and teach students.
Also, Iris, Courtney and I are planning to go to London the first weekend in December and stay for two nights! I'm very excited to finally be going after allllll this time but I think going in December will be best because I think it will be beautiful. Assuming that Christmas things are up. Haha.
Well, I know it was short and it has been a while but I have things to do now :/ I did post, after counting, over 300 pics on FB today so check those if you can :)
Hopefully I can focus on posting more :)
Positive-I'm loving my life.
Now, as for what's been going on. I've been trying my best to incorporate God into my stay more. I have been praying and talking to God a lot more and it has definitely helped. No lie :)
I am getting more anxious by the day to return to IN and see all of my family and to get back to UCM and see my fam there! I miss everybody so so much but it's hard to believe my time here is almost done. It feels like I just got here 2 weeks ago and just crammed in a lot of trips between then and now, lol. I love it here and would love to come back again some day. So I know I will :)
I am staying involved on campus and offering myself up to more organizations for more things in this last month and a half of time here :) It makes me feel a lot more at home to continually meet new people and be doing things.
I have a trip to Venice this weekend which I am stoked for. And, Grandpa, I will be eating some pizza from there since you told me I have to try it :)
My group for one of my classes will be going to Scotland, on our own accord, to celebrate that our event for that class is done seeing as the tutor is a twat and shouldn't be allowed to speak to people let alone try and teach students.
Also, Iris, Courtney and I are planning to go to London the first weekend in December and stay for two nights! I'm very excited to finally be going after allllll this time but I think going in December will be best because I think it will be beautiful. Assuming that Christmas things are up. Haha.
Well, I know it was short and it has been a while but I have things to do now :/ I did post, after counting, over 300 pics on FB today so check those if you can :)
Hopefully I can focus on posting more :)
Positive-I'm loving my life.
Monday, November 1, 2010
God
Yep.
You read right.
I'm upin' my faith and preparing for a new way of life when I return home. Imma try and tame this mouth, believe it or not, and work-out to feel better about myself, and read the Bible. Bits at a time of course but I started once before and I have decided it's my time to begin again.
You read right.
I'm upin' my faith and preparing for a new way of life when I return home. Imma try and tame this mouth, believe it or not, and work-out to feel better about myself, and read the Bible. Bits at a time of course but I started once before and I have decided it's my time to begin again.
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